Sthree Dharmam

Q10Jul21002
Can women offer home-cooked food to Salagrama Perumal if the men of the household are not present?
Vidwan`s reply:
Women can offer food to Salagrama Perumal, it is a must to offer food.
Notes:
• Women should not ring the bell, like men while offering food; must not partake food without offering it to Perumal.
• Women shall offer the home-cooked food and contemplate that Perumal had accepted the offerings. This is the tradition that is in practice.
• Whatever we cook at home, we can offer it to Perumal by reciting mentally “koodarai vellum seer” pasuram and partake the offerings.
Q10Jul21003
Can women do manaseeka aradhanam during asauca and mensurating period? Is it an offense to do so?
Vidwan`s reply
Maanaseeka aradhanma is a component of Perumal Tiruaradhanam. Women should not do manaseeka aradhanam at any period.
Q10Jul21006
Can women recite Kamasikashtakam?
Vidwan`s reply
Women can certainly recite Swami Desikan’s Sri Kamasikashtakam Strotram.
Q10Jul21002
How should Sumangali-s observe Ekadasi vratam?
Vidwan`s reply
Sumangali-s can observe Ekadasi vratam with the consent of their husband and if they could observe fast the entire day, they may do so.
Notes:
It is not wrong even if they could not observe fasting the whole day as they have to take care of many chores the following day. They are allowed to partake in light refreshments.
Q10Jul21005
Someone else would cook during a woman’s menstrual period and offer it to Perumal. Are women allowed to partake prasadam offered to Perumal during that time? Or should food be cooked separately for them?
Vidwan`s reply:
During a woman’s menstrual period, the food that was offered to Perumal should be served to elders of the household first and later that food can be served to her.
Notes:
The leftover food from the portion after being served to her, should not be used again. So, it is better to cook for her separately.
Q10Jul21015
Can women address themselves as adiyen and dasan or are there any other suitable words? I have been intending to ask this for a long time and am using this platform to clarify my doubt. Thanks.
Vidwan`s reply:
• Adiyen is a common term used for addressing both genders.
• While adiyen refers to self, adiyaal and adiyaan refers others.
Notes:
• Dasi is the female equivalent of dasan, but in today’s context, that name does not bear good meaning hence it is not in practice.
• Thirumangai Azhwar had said ‘adicci’.
• The Sanskrit word Dasa is common to both genders and is used in Vedic rituals.
Q10Jul21019
Can women recite Bhagavad Gita, Itihasa, and Puranas?
Vidwan`s reply
Scriptures say it is improper for women to recite Itihasas and Puranas, but they can listen to them a lot.
Q11Jul21001
Can women alone recite Divya Prabandam and Padhuka Sahasram as a group at temples?
Vidwan`s reply:
Women group alone cannot recite Divya Prabandam and Padhuka Sahasram at ancient temples.
Notes:
• However, Scriptures do not prevent Andal goshti to recite Prabandam and Paduka Sahasram in many other locations (Like Temples that are not Divya Desams).
• There are many specific rules at respective temples for Goshti parayanam.
Q11Jul21002
Can women recite Desikar’s Adikarasaranavali and tatvamuktavali?
Vidwan`s reply:
Women can learn and contemplate them.
Notes:
These works of Desikan involve queries and discussions on esoteric matters, so it is considered improper to undergo kalakshepam.
Q11Jul21005
Pray tell me if adiyen can recite Prabandam and Purvacharya slokas during the menstrual period as adiyen feels tormented for not being able to recite during that time.
Vidwan`s reply:
No one must not recite Prabandam and Purvacharya slokas during that period.
Notes:
• As we are traditionally trained to chant slokas from our younger age, they are in our mind always and we cannot control them as well.
• But during periods one should not chant them aloud.
Q12Jul21003
Can women perform Salagrama aradhanam?
Vidwan`s reply:
Women must not perform Salagrama aradhanam as it is not ordained.
Notes:
Women can draw kolam, light lamps, and cook food to be offered to Salagrama Murthy.
Q12Jul21004
Can women chant Vishnu Sahasranamam?
Vidwan`s reply
Women should not chant Sri Vishnu Sahasranamam.
Q12Jul21005
How to recite thiruashtaksharam, dwayam, and carma slokam every day in an orderly manner?
Vidwan`s reply:
Daily recital of these slokas contemplating on their meaning is termed special as stated by our Acaryas like Swami Desikan.
Notes:
• One must learn these slokas with meaning through kalakshepam of Shrimad Rahasyatrayasaaram, etc. from one’s preceptor.
• To aid the contemplation of the meaning of these slokas while reciting them, Swami Desikan has graced us with Tiruashtakshara Surukku, Dvaya Surukku, and Caramasloka Surukku.
• Sri Parashara Bhattar has blessed us with Ashtashlokini on this.
• But it is better to learn these meanings through kalakshepam.
Q12Jul21010
What are maDi and paththu? How to explain these to the current generation?
Vidwan`s reply:
• Madi refers to ceremonially pure clothes
• Paththu generally refers to cooked rice. Because it sticks to hand, it is called Paththu (paRRu). Anything that is stored along with cooked rice, will also become paththu. If stored separately, only cooked rice is paththu.
• While serving palahaara, pathhtu should be avoided and any items stored along with cooked rice must not be consumed.
Notes:
MaDi:
• Our body and clothes are tainted and impure when we lie down in our bed during nighttime.
• To remove the impurity, we need to take bath and wash our clothes and hang them to dry in a clothesline.
• One must not touch with hand or any part of the body, the clothes put out for drying. Only after purifying ourselves should we take the clothes from the clothesline wearing.
Paththu
• Ghee, curd, milk, etc. are not considered paththu items
• Paththu and non-paththu items should not be mixed and are kept and used separately.
• For example, while serving food, after serving cooked rice, one must wash hands before touching the container that contains ghee.
• While preparing food, the place where the items are cooked must be different for paththu and non-paththu items. It is better if the stoves used for cooking rice and boiling milk are different. If unavoidable, clean the stove after cooking the food and before boiling the milk.
• Food with longer shelves like pickles, dosa/idli batter, etc., must also be kept separated from paththu items. Always must wash hands after touching paththu items and before touching non-paththu items.
Q15Jul21005
Can Women/widows perform Salagrama Aradhanam in Sri Vaishnava tradition? To suit present days, pray to advise the duties that can be performed by ladies who had performed sharanagati, through mind, body, and words for Tiruaradhanam.
Vidwan`s reply:
Women are not allowed to touch the Salagrama. Ladies can provide relevant assistance during Tiruaradhanam.
Notes:
• Some of the duties ladies can help with for Tiruaradhanam are – clean the dais or sanctum, draw kolam, wash Tiruaradhanam vessels, lighting lamps, gather flowers and fruits, prepare scented items (this includes powdering cardamom, edible camphor (pacchai karpuram)) for Perumal tirtham, prepare dhoops, etc.
• The most important duty is preparing the prasadams that are offered to Perumal during the bhojyasana of Tiruaradhan are prepared. One must prepare oneself by physically purifying, purifying the place around, chant Azhvar pasuram-s and prepare with sincerity, following the prescribed by scriptures.
Q18Jul21012
What are the pasurams and stotras that women can recite while offering cooked food?
Vidwan`s reply:
Women can recite ‘Koodarai vellum seer’ pasuram and chant Govinda nama while offering.
Q21JUL21004
Can Ekadasi fasting be observed during the menstruating period? Will it beget sin? Is Rama-Krishna Nama japam, chanting of Dvaya mantram allowed during this period?
Vidwan`s reply
Ekadasi fasting can be observed during the menstruating period.
Notes
There is no harm in chanting the names of Bhagavan.
Q21JUL21012
Do scriptures allow any other religious practices other than observing Ekadasi vratam for women who had done Prapatti?
Vidwan`s reply
Apart from observing Ekadasi vratam, one can observe other vratams for Perumal like Sravana vratam. Some observe vratam on Fridays and Saturdays. It is acceptable to observe other vratams for the sake of Perumal.
Notes
Some households have the practice of wearing charadu (thread coated in turmeric paste) commencement of Panguni by observing nonbu (a sort of vratam). One need not fast the whole day as some light refreshments are allowed. Vratam can be observed only with the consent of elders. Some Prapanna households do not have this tradition.
Q22JUL21003
Women worship Thulasi by offering water, drawing kolams and chanting slokas. Can they meditate upon Krishna Bhagavan and pluck Thulasi leaves for offering it to Perumal?
Vidwan`s reply
The mantra chanted during plucking Thulasi must be learned as a upadesham. Hence, it is not a practice for women to pluck Thulasi.
Q22JUL21010
Can women recite Sundarkandam? Or they are allowed read only the exposition? Will we derive the same fruits when we recite its exposition rather than the original verse?
Vidwan`s reply
In our tradition, it is not a practice to recite the original verses, but it can be read as a story.

Q22JUL21013
Can women chant Ashtakshara mantra after Samashrayanam or after Bharanyasam?
Vidwan`s reply
Women can chant Ashtakshsara mantra after Samashrayanam.

Q23JUL21005
Adiyen has some physical ailments that my mensurating period stretches between four to thirty days:
• should I refrain for four days or the entire period of mensuration for routine work?
• Can I enter the kitchen after five days?
• Can I clean the vessels used for Perumal after five days?
Vidwan`s reply
As per the tradition, one needs to stay away for three nights and after taking bath on the fourth day, we come for routine work. But the fourth day is also considered impure. Though there may be physical discomfort after the fourth day, one need not remain separate.
There is no need to stay separate until the fifteenth day while days sixteen and seventeen are equivalent to the fourth day of impurity. If the discomfort prolongs after seventeen days, then one must stay separate.
While scriptures do not object one from lighting lamps or cleaning thiruvaradhana vessels and it is not wrong if one feels uncomfortable in doing this work, they can refrain from them, again it depends on one’s mindset.
 
Q18PUR21012
Can women recite Ashtakshara mantra after Samashrayanam or should it be recited only after performing Bharanyasam?
Vidwan`s reply
• Women can very well recite Ashtaksharam after Samashrayanam.
• Mantra upadesam is done only during Samashrayanam; it is a must to recite this mantra if one has obtained upadesam through an Acarya. It is a part of the daily austerity.

Q18PUR21015
Can Srivaishnava women wear garland made of Thulasi beads? Iskcon allows only those who wear thulasi bead garland to perform kainkaryam; as adiyen goes there to render kainkaryam, can adiyen wear it to perform service?
Vidwan`s reply
• It is not customary for women to wear garland made of thulasi beads.
• In our Srivaishnava tradition, one must wear the garland only after ceremonial purification. There are many rules for such purified garlands. It should be kept untainted like sacred thread.
• Elders and Preceptors wear the purified garland during rituals and religious discourses.

Q19AIP21016
When aidyen’s husband is away on travel and as adiyen is not allowed to perform Tiruvaradhanam (especially during a festival, Fridays or Saturdays), can adiyen offer lighted camphor for Perumal?
Vidwan`s reply
It is not in tradition for women to offer lighted camphor.
Notes:
If the husband is away traveling, women can draw kolam, light up lamp and offer the cooked food to Perumal mentally by reciting Govinda nama. As per tradition, women do not offer lighted camphor.

Q19AIP21017
Adiyen is six months pregnant; as pregnant women should not climb the hill, can adiyen worship at Divya Desams that are not situated atop a hill?
Vidwan`s reply
• Pregnant women should not climb the hill for worshipping. It is not wrong to visit other Divya Desams for worship.
• As pregnant women should not travel for a longer duration, it is advisable to worship at nearby temples.

Q19AIP21018
While doing Sumgali pooja, we seat a girl along with other Sumangalis. Who is considered as a Kanya girl, is it an unmarried woman or a girl child of a certain age? How many girls should be seated along with a Sumangali?
Vidwan`s reply
• It is not an ordained ritual, not all houses perform sumangali pooja. Paramaikanti-s (those who do not pursue activities of material benefits and are devoted only to Perumal) do not conduct such prayers. It is not wrong if one’s house follows such prayers.
• Generally, Kanya girl refers to the one who is yet to attain puberty.
Notes:
This has to be done in odd numbers like five, seven. One has to adhere to the concerned household practice.
Q20KAR21022
Adiyen’s mother passed away while returning from Thirumogur temple in an accident. While my brother performed the last rites, as a daughter what should adiyen do for the well-being of her soul?
Vidwan`s reply
A woman should observe three days of asaucam following the death of a father or mother. She can help the brother or the karthan by assisting physically in cooking or aid monetarily for the ceremony during masyam and shrardham days.

Q20KAR21031
Can adiyen draw Perumal and Thayar as a kolam during Thiruvadipporam and Janmashtami?
Vidwan`s reply
If we draw Perumal and Thayar in kolam, it will be disheartening when we wipe it clean, more over we should be mindful that our legs do not come in contact with the kolam so it is better to avoid such drawings.

Q20KAR21032
Adiyen, my daughter who is in college does not accept when we forbid her not to worship Perumal sannidhi or visit temple during menstrual period. When she asks for explanations, we are unable to make her understand. Out of our compulsion she started worshipping Perumal at home and visits temple once a month. We feel that your explanation will convince her so kindly help us.
Vidwan`s reply
When we are physically unwell or tired, our energy level is very low. At times, even negative thoughts are also result. During such times, it is better that we do not spread negative energy to others.
When the physical body is greatly impacted and when negative thoughts pervade mind, it is not appropriate to visit temple. That is, the Agamas have said that during such period, it is not right to worship Perumal or perform tiruvaradhanam; doing so might result in severe offences being committed. This is applicable to both Men and Women.
Scientifically speaking, menstrual period is when negative energy is in abundance. To provide rest for the weak mind and body, this type arrangement has been put in place. With noble intentions, it is said that one must take rest during this period. Even with many advantages during present times, it is advisable to accept the benefits provided by the scriptures.
She can be convinced with the modern-day approach initially and later she can be taught about our tradition. You can try talking with her using logic like “Usually when we ask you visit temples, you will not come and when we say not to visit temples at certain times you oppose”.
When we are sick our energy level is down and at times, we have negative energy so it is better that we do not pollute the environment with our negative energy, so we can prohibit ourselves in visiting temples at this period. (In their words, “We must not pollute/liter the environment, we have to save our environment”. These are socially and morally accepted claims by the kids today).
Above all, parents should sincerely pray to the Divine Couple for the well-being of the child. Father shall recite Vishnu Sahasranama every day and mother shall recite Sri Stuti, Bhoo Stuti and Godha Stuti for the child to tread the proper path.
Q20KAR21033
Can women recite Prabandham?
Vidwan`s reply
Yes, women can recite Prabhandam.
Q20MAR21008
Why should women perform Acamanam? What is the proper way of doing it? What are the mantras to be chanted during Acamanam? Is there a rule for performing it? Can it be performed during menstrual period?
Vidwan`s reply
As per the general rule, after taking bath, wearing pure clothes, after cleansing hands and legs one has to do Acamanam, this is applicable even for women.
Marriage for women is considered like an upanayanam and hence women must perform Acamanam after their marriage.
Women need not sit like men while doing it and it is also not in custom to do so. Women can simply chant the name Acyuta, Ananta, Govinda, omitting pranavam, namaH and partake the tirtham thrice.
Q20MAR21009
Can women recite Bhagavatam, Sundara Kandam, Bhagavad Gita in its original content?
Vidwan`s reply
As per our tradition women do not recite them in its original form.
Q20MAR21010
What holy names of Perumal a woman should chant while applying Srichurnam and Thiruman?
Vidwan`s reply
Women must certainly chant the twelve names of Perumal and Piratti while applying Srichurnam and Thiruman. My preceptor had instructed to chant the appropriate names at the relevant place one applies the Thiruman. For example, after applying Thiruman in the forehead we have to fold our palms in supplication and chant Keshavaya NamaH, Sriyai NamaH.
Though it is stated women should also apply Namam in twelve places like men and also it is impractical for women to apply them in certain areas like fore arms, chest, neck instead they can chant the relevant names of Perumal and Piratti by folding their hands in reverence.
Q23THAI21010
What are the austerities that a lady must follow if the periods stretch beyond the normal duration?
Vidwan`s reply
As per the scriptures one should stay secluded for five days and after taking head bath, we can do the regular chores. But if one is mentally not prepared, they can refrain from doing the regular chores like cleaning Perumal sannidhi, drawing kolams, lighting up lamps.
Women are allowed to do their usual chores until 15 days but if the periods extend after fifteen days too, then it is considered as vizhuppu. In that case one has to remain separate for the next three days.
It all depends on one’s family situation as well, if there are people to help at home then they can take care of the domestic chores or take decision as per the mental comfort.
Q24THAI21002
Can women wear gold mangala sutra instead of turmeric thread as married women these days and their mothers prefer to wear gold? Please clarify.
Vidwan`s reply
Turmeric thread is considered very auspicious. It is mentioned as ‘mangalyam tantu’ in the wedding shlokas. Swami Desikan said ‘mangalya sutram iva’.
Gold is also auspicious like turmeric thread, hence these days gold is preferred to that of turmeric.
But scriptures had instructed to wear turmeric thread so we cannot alter them to our convenience. Like how Yagnyopavitam is to men, mangala sutram is for women. Swami Desikan states it as Bibhrathi. One must wear it always in turmeric thread and not in gold.
Q24THAI21005
Can women recite Jitante stotram of Alavandar?
Vidwan`s reply
Alavandar wrote Stotraratnam, not Jitante stotram. There is no doubt that all can recite stotrams of Alavandar.
Though some might say it is like Vishnusahasranamam, Jitante stotram is equivalent to Vedas, hence it has certain rules. As per traditional observance women should not recite this.
Q24THAI21011
Can women touch the deities at home to clean and adorn clothes?
Vidwan`s reply
There are two types of deities, the consecrated and non-consecrated. If it is consecrated, only men can perform upacharams as per the ordains. They should touch the deities only after taking bath in the morning, after performing sandhyavandanam and before partaking food.
If the deities are not consecrated, then any one can touch the deities and adorn them with new clothes.
Q24THAI21012
Should women observe vratam during Mahalayapaksham?
Vidwan`s reply
There is no specific vratam for women during Mahalayapaksham. They can assist in chores if elders of the house perform mahalaya tharpanam. As mahalayam is like a shraddham, those who help during that period should keep themselves pure.
Q24THAI21018
During Dvaya mantra initiation, adiyen was instructed to say ‘um’ instead of pranavam. In that case how to recite Vishnu Sahasranam as it contains pranavam in many places?
Vidwan`s reply
Scriptures have instructed that women should not chant pranavam when it appears in a mantra. In Sahasranama, pranavam does not appear in any of the thousand names but it is included in the recitation at some places; so, it is not a compulsion that it should be chanted along with the nama and can be omitted.
Q25MASI21025
Can women participate in shraddha karyam after taking the anniyaa theetu snanam on the fifth day after periods?
Vidwan`s reply
Yes, women can participate in shraddham after taking the anniyaa theetu snanam.
Q25MASI21033
While the men of the house are away, can women open the Perumal Koilazhwar (the box in which Perumal is kept) to offer prasadam? Or must they offer food mentally without opening the box?
Vidwan`s reply
It is not in custom for women to touch the box kept for Perumal.
Women do not touch the box even though the box is made of wood and Perumal is kept inside the box; it is not known what impurity might befall when a woman touches the box; as it is revered as Koilazhwar with a separate sanctum, it is not a practice for women to open Koil azhwar.